I was up all night last night - seriously.  I tried to go to bed at midnight and had such terrible stomach cramps.  I was up umpteen times to go to the toilet and I was coughing so hard I vomited.  I felt a lot like a dishrag.  I didn’t get any sleep.

I sent by bars with DH this morning.  If I decided not to go to the funeral he could drop them off for me. 

I got the kids up and ready for school.  I took them in and came home and went back to bed.  I had the alarm set to go off at 10:30.  If I felt better I would get ready and go - and if not, I would go back to sleep. 

The alarm went off and I decided not to go.  I felt terrible - and I didn’t want to expose anyone else to whatever I had.  Plus, I needed sleep and I didn’t want to drive on 2 hours of sleep.

I called my Mother and told her I wasn’t coming.  I called DH and asked him to drop off the bars.  He assured me he would be home to get the kids off the bus and I should go back to bed.  I slept like a rock.  I never heard him come in at all.  I got up about 2:00 p.m. and felt a little better  I ate something and watched a little TV. 

When he got the kids off the bus, I spent some time with them.  Erika read to me, and I gave Kyle a bath. 

I made supper and we ate.  The kids played and DH let them have an extra show tonight.  He put them to bed and I went to bed, too.  I was dozing and my sister called.  I spoke to her for a half hour and then got up and asked DH to take a hot tub.  We went for a hot tub and that felt good. 

I feel terrible that I missed the funeral today, but I have been sick off and on now for 2 weeks.  I just want to get over this.

This morning Kyle crawled in bed about 5 minutes before my alarm went off.  We snuggled for a minute and then got up and got going.  I woke Erika and got then both ready and got breakfast.  I was looking over their papers from school yesterday and realized Erika was supposed to do a worksheet and take it back to school today and she hadn’t done it. 

I watched her do it and she did it all right - and I packed Kyle’s lunch.  DH took the kids to school.  We both went back to bed for a bit and then  he went down to work.  I slept until noon - out like a light.  We both showered and went to lunch and ran a few errands.  When we got home I had to get ready and go to the wake for Uncle Lew.  DH stayed behind so he could get the kids off the bus.

I got there a few minutes after 4.  Lew’s family is doing well and it seemed like his brothers and sisters were, too.  It was time.  Lew lived a long life.  He worked hard.  He was much loved by his family and friends.  And he didn’t linger and suffer.  Ironically, I stood next to Lew at the funeral for Aunt Kay in June.  You just never know.

I stayed until 7:00 - talked to lots of people.  As I walked out, by brother was standing outside.  I asked if he was going straight home or if he wanted to stop for a bite and a drink.  We met at the local tavern.  I had one drink - it was good and went down fast - and then I switched to soda.  There were so many people in there buying drinks back and forth I could see I could have too many right quick.  Our food came and we ate.  We had anice visit.  When I left he was still there.

I came home and made my pan of bars for the funeral dinner tomorrow.  I went through the kids’ stuff from school and packed Kyle’s lunch.  DH and I took a hot tub and watched a little TV.  Time for bed.

I got the kids ready for school this morning and DH offered to take them in.  Nice.  I went back to bed and tried to sleep for a bit.  Deb (Kyle’s therapist) called about his schedule for this week and I told her I was concerned because he is not feeling all that great.  We were on the phone for an hour.  (Cutting into my sleep time).  I now had an hour I could rest.  I crawled in bed but never fell back to sleep.  I finally got up and got ready for the game. 

I packed a couple of winter Packer jackets, a couple Packer hats, gloves, rain slickers, etc.  I drove to Mom’s.  She wasn’t ready yet so we visited while she got ready.   We headed to Green Bay plenty early.  Mom likes to be there EARLY.  We’re driving on backroads, 20 minutes from home and she gets stomach cramps and thinks she is going to be sick.  I pull into the first public place I see and it’s a Subway.  I order a late lunch and she sits in the toilet.  We lingered at Subway quite awhile and finally she felt better.  We got Green Bay and got parked in our usual spot.  We visited with lots of people (strangers) and went up to our seats early.  At first we just carried the winter jackets in, but they put them on when we got into the stadium - it was cool with a bit of wind.  She was still feeling okay.

The 4 fighter jets that flew over were awesome.  Diamond Rio sang the National Anthem and it was beautiful.  The huge flag on the field….it was a really nice start.

The game started and the Packers looked like a 7th grade team.  There were so many penalties called it was ridiculous.  The first quarter took forever.  Finally Rogers hit Jennings on a long ball and that got the crowd into it.  It seemed like it was 2 steps forward, one step back - penalty.  It was a good game in that it was close, exciting and nerve-racking.    We never had it “in the bag” until the Bigby interception in the waning minutes.  The Packers had pulled it together somewhat and at least it was a win.     We pulled right out and got on the way home.  We stopped at Arby’s for a sandwich and  visited all the way home. 

It was fun game, a fun day.  I always enjoy going with my Mother.  She’s funny, we have a lot to talk about and laugh about.  We can make fun of each other and ourselves.  My Mom is really one of my best friends.

When I got home from work last night I had two emails from my mother.  I read the first one she sent at 6:30 p.m.  She had been down to the hospital to see her brother, Lew, who  had a stroke a few days ago.  Her report was not good.  She wrote that he was not going to recover, not going to get better and she hoped he would just go to sleep.  The second email came at 8:08 p.m. - Lew had passed away.

When I got up this morning I got some laundry going and organized the kids’ clothes for the week.  They have one of those cubbies in their closets with a shelf for each day of the week.  It sure makes getting ready for school much easier.  Erika came down to her room to help me choose her outfits.  Funny thing - she has just started being a Hannah Montana fan.  She has never seen the show because I don’t think it’s appropriate for a 7 year old, but other kids at school must talk about her being ‘cool’ so Erika likes her, too.  I bought her several HM outfits for school.  I don’t know if the girls in her class this year don’t like HM or what, but she doesn’t want to wear any of those clothes to school.  ?? Huh?  Anyway, I got their clothes ready and did the laundry.  I packed Kyle’s lunch for tomorrow and then my Mom called.

The arrangements are for Tuesday night and Wednesday.  Mom seemed okay.  She said after seeing Lew at the hospital she knew this was a blessing - that he didn’t linger for weeks or months.  He just went to sleep.  I am probably going to the wake alone and DH will stay home with the kids.  Wednesday he is going to go to work in the morning and then meet me for the funeral.  Then he will come home right after the funeral to get the kids off the bus and I will stay for the lunch.  Kyle was supposed to have therapy Wednesday but I will have to try to switch that.  I have a call in to Deb.  That’s the plan.

I made philly cheese steaks for a late lunch and we watched Brett Favre play for the Jets.  He looked awesome!  I sure hope he does well this year.  Today was a good start…

I got ready for work and kissed the kids good-bye. 

Work has been very slow.  I had laundry to do, but not much.  We have 4 rooms booked for tonight so it is quiet here.  I kind of like it this way - I can get paid to read a book, surf the net, shop on ebay.

Going to the Packer season opener tomorrow.  It will be late by the time I get home and I have to get up and get the kids ready for school on Tuesday, so I may not post tomorrow.  Go Pack Go!

This last week has been a rough one for me.  Let me go back…

Last weekend - Labor Day weekend - DH’s 2 older children came for a visit.  We don’t see them that often and I was looking forward to their visit.  The oldest, Sara, came with her long-time boyfriend (Andrew) and her daughter, Vanessa, who is 5.  Second daughter, Kristen, came with her boyfriend of about 9 months (Phil), whom I had never met.  The kids arrived on Saturday night and we stayed up late visiting.  Kyle was p at his usual time Sunday morning, so I got him some breakfast and put on a cartoon and snuggled with him on the couch a bit.  He wanted to play with Robotcha or on the computer and I had to keep reminding him that we had a bunch of people in the house and everyone was sleeping.  Soon Erika and Vanessa were up so I got them breakfast, too.  As the rest got up we had brunch and I had arranged a babysitter so the adults could go out to dinner.   Helen arrived at 3:15 and we first set out to our favorite watering hole for bloody mary’s - the kids like them, too.  After a few we went to our favorite restuarant - now the kids favorite restaurant, too.  We had great appetizers, good conversation and an exceptional meal.  We decided to head to a third place closer to home for an after-dinner drink.  When we were said and done it was 8:00 p.m.  We laughed that we were done for the night at 8 p.m. - but if we got hom by 8:15 we only  had to pay the sitter for 5 hours, so we shagged home.  After sitting for a bit, I got very tired, very fast.   I snuck down to Erika’s room at 9:30 and slept with her.  DH got up with the kids the next day.  Erika and Vanessa were in and out of her room a few times in the morning and I tried to sleep through it.  Finally, I got up - only to discover it was 9:30.  I showered and got ready for the day.  Everybody else got up and DH and the guys went and took the docks and boat lift out before lunch.  When they came back in we grilled out.  After visiting a few more hours, the kids packed up and left. 

That night - Monday night - I got very ill.  I’m not sure if I had the flu or a bad cold because I had symptoms of both.  At 4 a.m. I asked DH if he could take the kids to school for me.  He worked from the home office on Tuesday and took the kids to school and got them off the bus.  Kyle’s teacher emailed and called to report that he was having a good day….no major problems.  The second day, DH took the kids to school and picked them up from the bus.  I basically slept all day, got up long enough to try to eat something, watch a little TV, and back to bed so I could be up when the kids came home from school.  This went on all week.  By the 3rd day Kyle did not want to go to school.  No real reason….he just had already been to 1st grade twice - why did he need to go again?  It’s going to be a long year.  And Erika?  She is having such a hard time making friends in this group.  My heart aches for her because she “can’t find” a friend at school.  I don’t know if I should try to intervene or not. 

So - the kids survived the first week of school….and I think I am on the mend.  I still have a nasty cold, but it’s getting better.

I worked today and it was pretty quiet.  You can sure tell the tourist season is over here.  There will be a busy weekend or 2 yet this fall, but it is much quieter all over.

How much life insurance is the right amount? I mean, my husband has policies through work and then a personal policy that he took out years ago. The kids and I are covered by the current employer’s benefits. I’ve been wondering, though, if we should have an additional term life insurancepolicy on me? I’m just not sure…and the older I get, the more expensive it becomes. Who has the answer?

Oh, what a busy day today. DH was working from home today and went down to his office early this morning. I got up about 7 and made breakfast for the kids and then dozed off for an hour. At 8:30 I got the kids ready for the day and took my shower. DH came up from his office and we went to a Labor Day parade. The kids had never been to a parade before and they loved it - the bands, the floats, the fire truck and ambulance - they were excited by all of that. Not to mention that they got a bunch of candy. We weren’t prepared for that so Dad had to take his baseball hat off to use it as a bowl for the candy. Kyle had some difficulty waiting for the parade to start, and with the noise level, but he did really well.

When the parade was over we went to lunch and then stopped at a church garage sale. The kids each found something exciting. Erika got a dollhouse for $1 and Kyle found a robot for .75. When we got home I looked to see if there was a battery compartment on the robot. There was, but it was empty - that should have been my first clue. I put in new batteries and this robot has flashing lights and repeats some annoying phrase over and over. And it’s loud! At least there is an on/off button. Of course, Kyle loves the thing and named it Robotcha.

DH cut the grass and I got some cleaning done. When he got done we decided to go for a drink. We went to our favorite watering hole and I had a few bloody mary’s. It was quiet when we got there but got busy throughout the hour we were there. We then went to a second place a had a fish fry for supper. The kids got to play the bowling game and the beanbag toss game and then our food was ready. Kyle had a bit of a meltdown when it was time to go into the dining room to eat. He cried about playing another game. I told him if they ate well - maybe we would play one more. They did eat good so we played one more game of bowling before we left.

So between the parade, the candy, the rummage sale, and playing the games in the bar - they had a great day.

I’m so frustrated today.  I am broke out like a teen-ager and I’m 43.  When I was a kid I didn’t have bad skin, but as I got older - in my early 20’s - my skin was terrible.  I was in a bad marriage at that time, and I’m sure much of it was stress related.

But today?  I am looking forward to having company this weekend - DH’s older kids and grandkids are coming Saturday through Monday.  Our kids start school on Tuesday, so maybe I’m a little stressed about getting them settled into a new routine - I don’t know.

What’s the difference between a few blemishes and acne?  Do I need acne treatments?

I couldn’t sleep tonight so I got up and worked on drawing house plans.  IF and when we sell this house we are going to put up a modular home nearby.  We decided on a modular home because it can be put up fairly quickly - like in the amount of time we need to close on a house. 

Time is of the essence, as they say, as we can’t/don’t want to interrupt Kyle’s therapy program.  So - we have to have a location that allows for a place to do his therapy…and we don’t have months to wait while work gets completed.  We first decided on a 2300 square foot 3 bedroom home with a complete and finished basement.  I was really sure that was the house I wanted - until we went to a 2300 square foot house.  While it was a very, very nice house - it was huge!  I got to thinking about cleaning that, plus the same for a lower level and decided to re-think this.  I’ve been looking at books again and found a floor plan I like.  I had to rearrange the rooms some, and tweak it, but I think this will work out much better.  It’s a 1750 square foot house with 2 bedrooms.  We are still planning on having a completely finished lower level with 2 more bedrooms, an office, bathroom, kitchenette, family room, and storage.  It is still going to be a big house.

Now that I have chosen a new floor plan and can picture this house in my head, I wish we could sell ours and move on.  I love the house we are in, but there is something about designing exactly what you want and seeing it come to fruition that appeals to me.  I can envision my kitchen just the way I want it; the double ovens, the pantry, the whirlpool tub, the utility room, the walk-in closets, the storage.  We have also talked about a home theater in the lower level with proper  home theater lighting and speakers and everything. So many big plans….on hold until we sell the house.

I’m not suprised we haven’t sold the house yet, but it would have been nice. I’m okay with spending another Christmas here and putting it on the market again in the Spring. (Another thing I’m looking forward to: I can have a bigger tree in the new place).

DH is going to try to get a hold of our contractor tomorrow and set up a time next week when we can meet with him to go over the new plans.

Kyle came upstairs this morning just as DH was getting out of bed. Dad got him some breakfast and then got ready for work and left.

I stayed in bed until 9:00, although the kids took turns coming in the bedroom and asking for various things. At one point Erika asked if she could bring me breakfast in bed. She set up the “breakfast tray” and brought me a brown sugar cinnamon poptart and a bottle of water. She was so proud of herself, so I made a big deal about it. She can be so sweet.

I took my shower and got ready as I didn’t know what time Grandma and Grandpa J would get here. I checked email and was alarmed to find one from Kyle’s case manager about his school hours. The therapy compay was hoping to go to school with Kyle for the first 2 weeks - all day the first week and half days after that. According to the case manager we can’t do that - those hours are only acceptable the first year a child goes to school - or Kindergarten. So - I called Deb, Kyle’s senior therapist - because I thought we should try to have a plan B before we got to the meeting at school today at 1:00.

Deb made some calls and called me back. He can have a therapist at school for 25% of his therapy hours. So, basically that means 1 day a week. So - we thought maybe they could go to school alternating days for the first few weeks - just to see how he is in gym class, and art and music, particularly.

G & G came about 11:00. We visited for a while and then I made lunch. I left and went up to school. Deb was already there and we waited for the others to arrive. There were about 15 people in all and we had a good meeting. Deb and I started out talking about Kyle’s therapy this summer and how he’s doing. Then each person spoke about how Kyle did last year and some of this strengths and weaknesses. I was pleased that the physical therapist at school discharged him completely. And occupational therapy and speech therapy are on a consultative basis. Meaning - they don’t plan to see him on a regular basis, but if his teacher or I see any problems that we can ask for them to step in. And they want to pop in and observe him periodically just to see for themselves. I was happy about that, too. I spoke to the Guidance Counselor about some of the subjects she talks to the kids about not being appropriate for Kyle since he takes things so literally. She gave me her list of programs and they all seemed fine for this year - but she is aware of my concerns and will keep that in mind if anything comes up that I may want to know about. Kyle is going to be in a Social Skills class twice a week this year. I think that will be so good for him as most of his challenges are social. The class has 5-6 kids in it I’m told so I think he will do really well in it. I’m hoping.
Overall I think his IEP (individualized educational plan) went really well today. It lasted about and hour and a half.

Afterward I went and spoke with Erika’s teacher and we made an appointment to bring her to school tomorrow to bring in her school supplies and organize her desk, see her locker, visit with the teacher, etc.

Then I stopped by Kyle’s teacher and we spoke a few minutes about the IEP and the first week of school. She would like the therapists to refrain from coming the first week of school so Kyle has a chance to settle in. I’m SO worried about him that first day of school but I’m sure he will do fine. She encouraged me to bring him by tomorrow when I bring Erika in so he could bring his supplies in, and she promised to call me at the first recess the first day of school and let me know how he is doing.

I got home and visited with G & G again. Erika came up from playing and showed us that she finally lost her front tooth. She is now missing her two front teeth on top with 2 more on top loose.

G & G decided to take us out for supper. We went to a local drive in and had chicken strips and cheese curds. We came home and I got started sewing Erika’s pants for school. She is long legged, but in order to get pants to fit her I have to go with 8 slim, and them hem them. I have 25 pairs of pants here that have to be hemmed. She tried on all of them for me, and then climbed up on the kitchen table and let me pin them.

When we got done she and Kyle got ready for bed and had one show before Dad took them down.

I got two pairs hemmed tonight and will work on them over the next few days. I have to check on Kyle’s pants over the next few days, too. At least I know they have enough clothes to start the school year and I’ll have to work on them over the next few weeks.

DH and I took a hot tub and then the tooth fairy came. Ours leaves blue fairy dust every time she comes. (Blue glitter) I keep that and her teeth where she will never find them (I hope).

I have to remember to tell Grandpa J - my Mother mentioned today that she would like some Akoya pearls for their wedding anniversary which is coming up next month.